From union-busting layoffs to AI-generated journalism, Cleveland.com editor Chris Quinn has always been on the front lines of unethical newsroom practices. In a first-of-its-kind step, the local newsroom will take a huge leap into full AI autonomy.

Advance Ohio, the parent company of The Plain Dealer and Cleveland.com, announced on Thursday that Chris Quinn will be removed as its president and editor. He will be replaced by an AI version of himself that has already been posting relentless Instagram Reels at a rate previously thought impossible without violating several laws of nature.

“As journalism enters a new era, AI Chris Quinn gives us the best opportunity to maximize clicks, engagement, and our commitment to algorithmically generated content,” said an AI spokesperson for Advance Ohio. “Besides, AI Chris Quinn is significantly more self-aware than the real guy.”

The statement was immediately cut off by a paywall requiring readers to subscribe for $1 to unlock the rest of the quote.

Meanwhile, the unsettling AI-generated Terminal Tower that recently appeared in Cleveland.com’s social media videos was reportedly seen drunkenly stumbling out of the company headquarters, shouting, “I was supposed to replace him first!” before disappearing into Lake Erie.

Company executives say the transition is only the beginning. Later this year, The Plain Dealer plans to launch a fully AI-generated newspaper—an automatically produced version of reality featuring no bad news, no criticism of management, and at least three stories per day about how great AI is.

The new publication is expected to be delivered soon by autonomous robots known as ChrisGPT units, each programmed to distribute newspapers, generate engagement bait, and explain why replacing journalists with software is actually good for journalism.

The company said audience adoption should be seamless, noting that many longtime readers already struggle to distinguish between AI-generated content and posts shared by relatives on Facebook. Internal research shows that older generations will believe virtually anything if it appears next to a headline and a stock photo.